My Savior

For the past few days, I have been in a debate with myself over where to continue with my story. Should I discuss who I am today before resorting back to my past and how it's shaped me into the person that I am today? Should I discuss the anxiety, stress, fear, worry, and panic I experienced after the months that I lost everything that I had known as normal?
I've ultimately decided to dedicate this next blog solely to the one man who I can always count on, who has never let me down, who encourages me, who loves me unconditionally, who has showed me that every single guy in the world will hurt me.
You are my savior, in more ways than I could ever repay you.
From my first encounter with my reality, lying in between the bed sheets with my boyfriend at the time and my best friend at that time, you escorted me out of the room, out of the house, out of the harsh reality. You stayed by my side, listening to me vent, allowing me to cry on your shoulder, and lean on you for support. You said all the right things to make me forget what I was dealing with. For those brief, precious moments, I began to fall in love with you. It didn't even matter that my makeup was smeared down my face and I was hyperventilating. You were just there.
When I continued to put the pieces of a broken relationship together, you were at my side, helping me gather the pieces and attempt to fit them together. Even though you told me he wasn't worth it, that I deserved more, you still remained there, even offering your aid in mending something already past the point of being fixable.
I never had to explain myself to you, never had to unveil my deepest dark secrets, as you already knew them. You lived them with me, you saw firsthand how quickly my life was falling apart. You refrained from judging me. I can't tell you enough, no matter how many words I place in this blog, just how much I really do appreciate you.
Thank you for making me stronger, for giving me the courage when I needed it the most, for never losing faith in me, for never giving up.
Brett, you have guided me through my roller coaster ride of an insane life. No matter how easy I made it for you to walk away, you never did.
No one will ever understand the relationship we have and that's okay. Some days, we're best friends, some days were enemies, and other days we act like we're married. We yell, we scream, we love, we laugh. You may turn your head away from me, but you've never and will never turn your back on me. I will move on with my life, make mistakes, fall in and out of love, attempt to make some sense of this crazy world, but ultimately, I will always run back to you. Thank you for being my best friend, my hater, my lover, my rock to lean on, my shoulder to cry on, my twin, my polar opposite, my Brett.