Strength, Power, and Love

Imagine yourself in a perfect moment of pure bliss, happiness, and joy with someone who you truly love and desire to spend the rest of your life with. You are innocent, vulnerable, especially after having relinquished all of the defenses you put against yourself in an effort to protect from any, if not all, negativity. Now, imagine that the person whom you have trusted more than anyone else has betrayed you. Maybe they lied, cheated, stole from you, etc. Regardless, you are now destroyed, left lying on the ground. Your desperate calls for help are ignored as he walks away, emotionless. You have given your heart to someone else who has destroyed it and broken it.
This is the pain that I have experienced far too many times. In truth, I have willingly subjected myself to this terrible treatment. I was naïve in believing that you could be the different man that I have been longing for. As it turned out, my eagerness to find happiness and love someone has just once again crumbled to the ground, leaving me broken and hopeless.
I don't understand how you can see how fragile my heart was. I gave it to you already damaged, but mended. You heard my darkest secrets, my painful, dark past, my great moments, everything. Yet, rather than showing me what a true man is, you showed me exactly what I already knew, further helping me believe that every man is like this. After going through so much, where am I supposed to gather hope to believe that someone could actually be different? I know I am not the only girl in the world who is fearful of every man I meet because I find myself waiting for them to betray me, rather than trying to see the good in them.
As a new year begins though, I want to remember the past, not forget it. I want to embrace my story because it's led me to be the person that I am today. I strive to achieve strength, power, and love this year. No matter what heartbreaks, disappointments, failures, and mistakes I may endure this year, I want to come out of each obstacle in my way with a smile on my face, strength in my heart, and hope for the future. I want to look at each of these failing moments as a chance for a lesson to be learned. I want to stand up for myself and obtain the power needed to make decisions for myself. In a seemingly selfish way, I want to put myself first and protect my heart from another disappointment. I am supposed to protect myself and I have failed, in many ways, to do so. This year, I want to gain power...the power to decide for myself what I want to do and the power to accept others into my life and expel those that don't appreciate, support, or help me in any way.
Lastly, I want to open my heart. I want to put aside my selfish instincts in this sense and help others who need it. I want to offer what little I do have and change someone else's day, week, month, or even their year. I want to make a difference in this world, or at the very least, I want to make a difference in someone else's world. I want to accept love and trust someone enough to not hurt me. I want to love those around me and show them just how much I appreciate having them in my life.
I am so blessed to have the people, things, and opportunities in my life that I do. This year, in 2015, I want to embrace every challenge with an open heart, strength, and the power to know that I can accomplish anything I set my mind to. I am stronger, more powerful, and more capable of love than I think I am. This year will be different for me.