MY CONFESSIONS

The true me is a soul that's been tortured with the painful reminders of a brutal past. Until recently, I have been stuck in the nightmares of who I used to be and what I used to permit myself to endure. My life lacked value years ago so much so that I didn't believe I was actually worth more than what I was getting. One man's abusive remarks led me to neglect the morals, values, and self-concept that I had previously held. I allowed myself to be a victim. But, I am not a victim. I am a survivor.
I confess that it was and still is my responsibility to obtain the respect that I deserve for myself. It was my duty to protect myself from the pain that he caused. Rather than hold true to myself, I allowed him to get inside my head and influence my every move. I became a slave to his unreasonable demands and I didn't even realize that I had lost sight of myself before it was too late.
I confess I fell into a false idea of love and convinced myself that I was happy. This is what I had longed for...a picture perfect relationship. I was supposed to be happy, right? "Maybe if I smile, the pain will go away..."
I confess that I love myself. I love the person who I am today. I am carefree, crazy, blessed, and above all, I am happy. I may not have all the confidence in the world and there are a million things I want to change about myself. I want to be skinnier, prettier, smarter, work harder, dream bigger, and love deeper. However, I am young. I'm still taking my first steps into adulthood and despite every mistake I make, I know that I am becoming the person I want to be. I may not have a million friends surrounding me, but I have enough genuine friends to support me, love me, and who are truly there when I need them to be. At the end of the day, I can fall asleep knowing that there will be a brighter tomorrow.
I confess that I am strong. No matter what situation I find myself in, I know that I am strong enough to not only get through it, but thrive. I am no longer weak and incapable of defending myself. I know my worth and I have the courage to stand up to anyone to fight for myself. For so long, I waited for him to fight for me. I didn't realize that I was the one who needed to rise up for myself.
These are my confessions. I confess that I make mistakes and that I can be wrong. I confess that I am not the perfect person in the world and that I'm flawless. I confess that that's okay though. I confess that I am who I am. These are the cards I was dealt and it's my duty to give myself the life, happiness, and love that I desire.