Another opens.
Life works in a weird, twisted but yet destined and perfect way. The experiences and memories we have all shape us into who and where we need to be. We're not as independent as we think. Regardless of your religious beliefs, there is some force out there that only allows you to go through things that you can endure.
Sometimes life happens. People leave, memories fade, experiences fail to occur. We fall, we cry, we get back up, we smile. We laugh through the pain and cry through the pain all the same. We're just going through this life unsure of what's coming next but deep down inside all of us, we have faith in what will come. We know that we are strong to face whatever challenges come toward us.
Recently, a door shut in my life. A door that had an abundance of great memories while also full of not-so-good memories. Although it saddens me that the memories will no longer come, I am relieved and blessed to be coming out stronger than ever and prepared to face whatever lies ahead. I am happy and for once I can look in the mirror and see a beautiful, carefree, energetic, outgoing, incredible person. For that, I am forever grateful. I have been knocked down and challenged in ways I never imagined I'd be challenged. But through it all, I come out stronger and better than ever. I am not done in this journey of life, nor will I permit someone to convince me that I am. I have so much more to offer the world and I know the world has so much more to offer for me. Whatever lies ahead, whichever road I take to the future, whatever I go through...whether good or bad...I will be ready and I will be happy.
Several months ago, I would have never imagined I'd be still talking to that same person who brought so much joy and so much happiness to my life. People fall apart to sometimes fall back together. Life is unpredictable and although I sometimes crave the chance to see what lies ahead, I am excited by the thought that the future is so unknown. I don't know what will happen in a few weeks when he comes back. I don't know what will come of a bond created over several months, with just the written word creating that bond. But I'm hopeful.
Sunday, February 21, 2016
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
I REFUSE
I refuse...
To be another statistic of an innocent, young, naïve woman who succumbs to the harsh physical and verbal abuse you placed upon me.
To surrender to a fight that I shouldn't be in.
To bow my head in shame as you take the remaining dignity and trust that I once had for myself and for others.
To allow you, a selfish and heartless man, to destroy my entire world.
To allow my heart to be broken, my trust to be gone, and my walls to go up higher and stronger.
To give you the satisfaction you seek that this time, you won the fight.
To withhold my feelings, for fear of the repercussions that may ensue by doing so.
To be a fearful victim, alone in a dark place in this world.
This time, I am going to stand up and use my power that you tried so hard to steal from me. This is my chance, my opportunity to show you that I am not as weak as you forced me to be that night. It was not my fault that this happened. I didn't do anything to justify this sort of abuse to occur. I am not the victim in this awful circumstance. I am the survivor, the fighter, the woman who refuses to allow you the satisfaction of thinking you were successful in ruining my life.
I am strong. I am powerful. I am capable. I am prepared for the challenges ahead. I am prepared for the victory that will eventually come to me.
God bless.
To be another statistic of an innocent, young, naïve woman who succumbs to the harsh physical and verbal abuse you placed upon me.
To surrender to a fight that I shouldn't be in.
To bow my head in shame as you take the remaining dignity and trust that I once had for myself and for others.
To allow you, a selfish and heartless man, to destroy my entire world.
To allow my heart to be broken, my trust to be gone, and my walls to go up higher and stronger.
To give you the satisfaction you seek that this time, you won the fight.
To withhold my feelings, for fear of the repercussions that may ensue by doing so.
To be a fearful victim, alone in a dark place in this world.
This time, I am going to stand up and use my power that you tried so hard to steal from me. This is my chance, my opportunity to show you that I am not as weak as you forced me to be that night. It was not my fault that this happened. I didn't do anything to justify this sort of abuse to occur. I am not the victim in this awful circumstance. I am the survivor, the fighter, the woman who refuses to allow you the satisfaction of thinking you were successful in ruining my life.
I am strong. I am powerful. I am capable. I am prepared for the challenges ahead. I am prepared for the victory that will eventually come to me.
God bless.
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