In just a few months, it'll be a year since I went through the biggest life-changing moment thus far. Having you and shortly thereafter losing you...that's something I can't just move on from. By now, I thought I'd have forgotten all about it but I can't and I refuse to. In the short time of your life, you changed me and played a larger role in my life that I had ever anticipated. Even though I never was able to meet you, or feel you, I feel you now in my heart more than ever.
There is nothing that could have prepared me for this. There are no words to make the pain go away, nor is there anything that could lead me to forget you. After months of anger, confusion, denial, pain, sadness, anxiety, and so forth, I can honestly say now that you were the greatest blessing for me.
You changed my life in a way that no one has ever been able to do before. You made me realize how strong I truly am. In the moment that I learned of you, nothing else mattered. Suddenly, I had to utilize the strength that I had hidden. I was your support system and at that moment, nothing else needed my attention more.
Then, just a few tragic days later, you were gone. It seemed as though you hadn't existed, but you did and you do. You are as much a part of me today as you were back then. I now know that you were mine and you are mine...always. I will never be the same person I was before and I'm okay with that. The person who I am today is more determined and stronger than I ever could have bene before. For the first time ever, I truly feel as though my life has a deeper meaning than it ever has before.
So, to my sweet angel, may you always feel the love I have for you...forever and always.
